A Simple Guide to Joy

There are some amazing teachers and guides on our planet, full of amazing wisdoms on how to progress your life, evolve your soul and open your heart. Sometimes, however, you have to be in the right mood to even be able to think about picking up a book or listening to a talk.

As an optimist, I was shocked to learn that for some people, a positive thought is not only impossible, the idea of having a positive thought actually makes them feel even worse about themselves. I have also realized from people messaging me after reading my articles that what seems simple to me feels completely inaccessible to them. Sometimes, a smile, a small shred of feeling ok is beyond us.

So, for everyone who does not have the time or the ability to find a simple joy for themselves today, here are some tiny suggestions that will not change your life, or even your day. They are not meant to revolutionize who you are today. BUT, one tiny new thing, one tiny shift, one tiny new thought could possibly be the start of something new. If you want.

Try one of these, try ten. Just, if you want to find a tiny bit of joy today, try…

1.    Take a deep breath. In and out. That’s all. If you really want to achieve big today, do it twice!!

2.    Have a glass of water. Woohoo- you just did something super healthy!!!! Gold star for you.

3.    Close your eyes. Picture a butterfly or a kitten or a Superbowl touchdown or something that you enjoy. Smile. Go on, turn the corners of your mouth up, just a bit.

4.    Imagine, just for a second, that “what is right with me?” is a better question than “what is wrong with me?”

5.    Skip up the hallway. It is really hard to feel sad or grumpy while skipping.

6.    Pretend that you are really grateful for one thing that you already have in your life.

7.    Put your hand on your heart. Feel the warmth of your hand over your heart. Now imagine you can feel your heart. The heart is a great place to go if your mind is giving you a hard time.

8.    OK, here is a big one… I know you can list 23 things you have already done ‘wrong’ today- from that pastry for breakfast to thinking mean thoughts about that dude on the bus- but can you give yourself credit for 23 good things? Because, in order for ‘bad’ to exist, you have to understand ‘good’. And in order to understand ‘good’, you have to be good. So, I bet you have done 23 good things today too and completely ignored them. That glass of water to start with. That kind thought you had about your friend who messaged you on Facebook. The smile you gave the person who made your coffee this morning. They are all equally as important as the so-called bad things. If you look truly, you have as many ‘good’ thoughts and deeds as ‘bad’ ones, you just don’t pay attention to them.

9.    Think of something you are looking forward to. Seeing your lover or someone you like, falling into a soft bed, your next holiday- something that is actually real and happening and preferably good for you! Just hold that in your mind for a moment and again, perhaps the corners of your mouth sneak up again. Let them.

10. Look at the sky- blue, grey, rain, night- it is still such an amazing thing. That is infinity out there!! Find something ordinary to be astonished by.

11. Think about whatever it is that worries you- money, fashion, weight, job. Now think way back in history- back before that concept even existed. We made that up. Not saying it doesn’t matter, but isn’t it totally weird and cool that we made it up!!??

12.  Try this for a new thought. Whether you are talking to God or the Universe or just your subconscious, try asking, “please help tomorrow be one bit better”.

None of these will take more than a minute. The bad news is, that is will affect you. Especially if you do it again tomorrow. And the day after. Imagine what might happen if you did two of them next week! And 4 next month.

We all say we want to be happier. It is probably the most consistently strived for goal in human history. Well, research shows that no matter what happens to us, good or bad, it is our own internal set point for happiness that will win. And you can change that set point. You can actually turn yourself into a happier person. A drip of happiness today could turn into a river of joy in no time.

Check out a version of this article at The Huffington Post- A Simple Guide To Joy

Kopan Monastery, Nepal

I recently had the opportunity to pretend to be a travel blogger for a few days, and while I was not totally inspired to start blogging about bus trips and food stops, I decided to write some of my previous “spiritual” or “sacred” travel adventures and see if there is a place for this type of travel blog- more for inner journeys and retreats.

My first big overseas trip where I was going just to do things that I wanted to do (not with friends, not to volunteer, but just travelling for me) was in 2011 to Nepal. I really wanted to go trekking, so I booked a 3 week trip to Everest Base Camp, but then figured, as I was in the land of prayer, I could hang out and do a bit more. So I googled and googled, looking for a retreat, or meditation or something and eventually stumbled on the November course at Kopan Monastery in Kathmandu.

Young monks waiting for blessings

There were a couple of things that really appealed to me about the Kopan course. It was expanding year by year, indicating that it was hitting the mark for westerners wanting to explore Buddhism and also it was cheap! I don’t remember how much it was 3 years ago, but this year’s course was US$460, which includes 3 meals a day and dorm accommodation. You can pay a bit extra to upgrade your digs, which I did and didn’t regret that for a second!

The course is aimed at teaching Westerners the basics of the Lam Rim- the fundamental teachings of Buddhism. I found it to be a bit more like bible study than philosophy, but there was some amazing and fascinating learning in there. There were also quite a few people who had been before plus others who were already Buddhist as well as people like me who were completely new to it all, so lunchtime conversations were always interesting!

The food at the retreat was fantastic! Sometimes the lines were a bit long but the vegetarian fare was great and plentiful. There was a 10 day semi-fast in the middle were we only had 1 meal a day, but this was optional as you could always go to the café or meals were available for anyone who had a medical or personal reason to not fast. I lasted 9 days on the fast (we were getting malt types drinks for the other 2 meals…), before I cracked and had breakfast at the café. Having been trekking for the previous month, I don’t think I was at my most resilient, plus it was getting colder by the end on November and I never do well in the cold.

Kopan monk on a misty morning

Overall, the 250 people who started the course were divided on their outcomes. Some left early, frustrated by the lack of philosophical discussion and debate in the teachings. Some took vows by the end of a month when they had not been Buddhist before (not like monk vows, just prayer vows!). The teacher we had the year I went was not a fan of questions or debate- he had been an aimless Australian pot smoker before finding Buddhism, so I think for him, it was a bit like being a reformed alcoholic- all or nothing. He could not really fathom a middle ground in this belief system and got frustrated with the endless “but what if” questions.

As I was one of the question askers, I found this challenging, but I stuck it out for the month. I loved the learning, even if I didn’t agree with all of the absolutes. I still think I am far too optimistic to believe that all existence is suffering, but I am a big fan of non-attachment and the idea of karma- not as payback, more as a balance. Overall, I came to understand that I am definitely not Buddhist, but that there are some lovely and really amazing teachings there.

Boudhanath Stupa

My most enduring memory is a full moon total eclipse on our last night when some of the more enthusiastic participants undertook to do 108 circumnavigations of the Boudhanath Stupa- a distance we guestimated to be about a marathon! I did about 12, then went for pizza and marveled at the fact I was watching a total lunar eclipse at one of the holiest sites in Nepal!

Kopan Monastery is a large and fairly well known establishment about 5kms from the famous Boudhanath Stupa. The November course is now fairly well known and getting harder to get into- get your application in early!