A Note to my 13 year old niece…

I want to explain something to you about growing up. When you are a child, you belong completely to and in your family. That’s the way things are supposed to be.

At some stage, that starts to change. You start to feel like you don’t belong. Like they don’t understand you. Like things are not fair. Like you are alone.

These feelings have a reason. It is not fun, but there is a reason. You are figuring out who you are. What your grown-up self is going to be like. Your heart pretends for a few years that you are not connected to your family, that you don’t belong. This is not really true, but this is how your heart starts to figure out who you are going to be. By giving you some space from your family. It is not easy.

It is ok. I understand that you feel alone, like the rest of us don’t know you. In some ways, you are alone. Everyone is. In some ways, we don’t know you. You are building a new you. I know these feelings are real to you now, but I want you to know something. This will not last. You are not really alone. We all love you. More than you can imagine right now.

 

I am very excited to watch you grow. I am looking forward to meeting your grown-up self. I am proud of you- then, now and in the future. 

I love you.

The Purpose of Men

A man recently told me that he fervently believes that the purpose of men now is to be in service to the divine Feminine. I have another (male) friend who has said something similar and this has been sitting uncomfortably with me for a while.

Is the sun in service to the earth? No. The sun simply Is what it Is. It does its Sunny thing. That this helps to nourish and sustain the earth is not actually the sun’s purpose. 

As analogies go, there is a lot missing from this one (like how the feminine, in turn, benefits the masculine), but I think the idea stands (not in a ‘women revolve around men’ kind of way though!!!!).

Yes, there is a lot of (recent) history to make up for and the Feminine has long been neglected or dismissed, however, reversing the disempowerment will not help. Men are not here to be of service to the divine Feminine. Men are here to be the divine Masculine. Full stop. No one is here to be in service to anyone.*

A man who is strong in his Masculine serves the other people in his life by being so, but that is not his purpose. He is simply being who he is. The fact that a woman can flourish in the presence of his strength and power does not make this his reason for existing.

Our reason for being here is because we are here. Our existence is its own reason. Life is its own reason. We are here to be exactly Who We Are. 

(How we then take this into partnership is about 100 other blogs, but for now, I am simplifying just this aspect.) 
*Our souls yearn to service, but I do not think this is necessarily linked to our masculine or feminine aspect.

Lack-lustrous thoughts

I was taught the power of language by a master of positivity and have been friends with several other masters of this skill since, however, I am still going to state, for the record, my appreciation for the lack of the following things...

1. Mosquitoes. They are rarely lacking in Bali at night, except under my net...
2. The noise of a generator. It has been my daytime accompaniment for a week now. Not today. (Note- this also applies to chainsaws and all-night dance music)
3. Sunburn. After day 3 when the bedsheets stop feeling like sandpaper and you can roll over again.
4. Headache, stomach cramps, back pain- whichever. Tis awesome when they stop. 
5. Drama. I don't do it. I love to tell a dramatic story, I just don't want to create one!

Oh, don't get me wrong... I appreciate silence and health and all of those positive things too, but sometimes, you just have to love NOT having something!

A deeper Secret

We all know the 'Secret'- you can manifest what you want by picturing it, thinking it, colouring it in in your mind... Kind of the non-religious version of prayer.

Well, I think I found another secret...

I was doing my regular manifesting meditation this morning- usually I am focussed on more general things like love and gratitude than the material, but after a conversation with a friend and energy master last night, today I was asking the Universe to bring me a romance... (yep, please ignore that detail folks!)

Suddenly, the knowledge hit me- my prayer (yes, same thing, different word- it's OK!) should not be to attract what I want. My prayer, my heart and soul should be asking for the help to making myself ready for what I want. I could access all that guidance, all that inspiration, all that energy for MYSELF!

Selfish, I hear you gasp!! Hang on... How can me becoming a better person be selfish? Is what not what the Universe, all my loved ones and my soul would want from me, for me? Does not me becoming a better person help the world? Would it not be a favour to the person that the Universe has already manifested out there for me? (nope, they are not going to be created out of thin air- I am hoping the Universe foresaw my need about 40 years ago!!!)

Now, I have heard this before. Become the person who would be/have/do/meet/etc the thing you want. What I had not connected was making that my deepest desire- the thing I could get guidance on, be inspired in, have answered... I do not have to ask the Universe for help to find my partner, BUT, I can ask the Universe for help in finding myself.

♡

In the Shadows

Being surrounded by spiritual people on a beautiful tropical island can be a wonderful and healing experience. Sometimes, too healing! Wait, before you say "what!!", let me explain...

Someone was recommending arnica for a couple of mostly healed bruises I had on my leg. Now, I am not big into creams and salves and such things, especially for something as non-life-threatening as a bruise, so I thanked her but wasn't very keen. She was very insistent that I needed to get some arnica and raved about how wonderful it is- she seemed a little miffed that I didn't rush out right then (we were at a wedding!!) to get some...

Another friend, who is highly intuitive, seems to rush me into processing whatever I am feeling any time I am a tiny bit not perfectly happy and someone else was recommending I 'throw my cough into the sacred fire' on the second day I had it...

Now, I love all of these concepts, and I truly believe that if you are stuck in something or can't shift a feeling or health issue, then some work is needed. But do we need to instantly process and dissolve every little 'negative'?

The Shadow is instantly seen to be suffering- a darkness, something to be avoided at all costs. Not only do we need to face our shadow (all those so-called dark and negative emotions and feelings), I think we need to own and honour them. 

My bruises remind me to be careful- I honour that the lesson was no more serious. My sometimes sadness pays homage to loved ones I miss or provides fuel for introspection and growth. My cough says pay attention to an unspoken truth, a repressed expression.

Be where you are for the learnings are important at every point in the scale. Being 'spiritual' does not mean just living in the light- you have to also embrace the Shadows...

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. 

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? 

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? 

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. 

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." 

But I say unto you, they are inseparable. 

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
(Kahlil Gibran- The Prophet)

Green-eyed Spiritualist

I have a confession... I have been attacked by the green-eyed monster. In the most unsuitable arena.

I have never been a jealous person when it comes to relationships, but as a youngest child in a not very emotionally abundant family, I have been jealous of the attention and praise that others recieve. Especially in any area that is important to me. Previously, this has attacked me in my career, when colleagues get good assignments or recognition, or, god forbid, a promotion. 

Now I am 'spiritual'- free of such trappings as career envy and freeing myself of such low-vibrational states as envy all together... right? Ha!!

Nope- it has attacked me in the most inappropriate of places- in my spiritual journey! I have always accepted that I am not the most disciplined of meditators (understatement of the decade!!!!) and am coming to terms with my lack of intuition, sight, gift or any other tangible spiritual skill (heck- I can't even 'meet' my guides)... But I have been pretty cool with that.

I am currently privileged to be meditating with some amazing Energy Masters. I was doing ok with kind of tagging along- I have actually mastered my younger need to be noticed, to be front and centre- until comments were made about how special my friends are (and yes, they are wonderful, incredible souls!). And out jumps my green-eyed monster, right into the middle of my lovely scenic spiritual path!

Whack goes the envy stick and I am really struggling with others being praised for having noteworthy souls!! Yep, I know that sounds strange, but I have become a Soul Stage Mother!! I want MY soul to stand out, to get praised, to be seen as special. 

AND, that's not how things are going right now... Of course, I know this is perfect and it is such a conflict! I am not only struggling with my jealousy, but also with the 'wrongness' of being jealous over such a thing! 

So, my imperfect journey continues... Luckily, I retain the ability to laugh at myself...

Paradox

Par·a·dox: one (as a person, situation, or action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases

I am fascinated by the questions of who we are and why we are here and the inherent paradoxes that come up when I think about the human condition... I love the equal and dichotomous Truths that inevitably arise (for me anyway!) when contemplating the biggest picture.

One of the biggest paradoxes I have become aware of in my own thinking about humanity is the paradox between my strong drive to compassion for individuals and a belief in the importance of all humans having equal rights and opportunities AND a strong awareness of the over-population of the planet and the need for not all individuals to survive and reproduce in order for humanity to not destroy our only ecosystem... Paradox.

Today I began an accountability process where I set goals for each day, for each week and have my mentor assist me in holding myself to a higher standard. I love the idea of growing myself, of discovering new facets, of being pushed to new experiences, AND, at the same time, there is something deeply uncomfortable about the implied need for change. Part of me is perfectly happy the way I am... Paradox.

I think the truth is that there is no Truth... There is no one way of anything. Sure, there are simple facts, but our existence, the complex and intertwined massive picture that is our existence cannot be boiled down to 'facts' and can certainly not be described as simple...

We are both perfect as we are AND inspired to grow and learn. Both the collective AND the individual are paramount. Our experience on Earth is one of both physicality AND spirituality... Paradoxes all!

The best paradox of all is that it takes all the individuals who only believe in one side of each of these things to create the overall balance... :)