I was at a business development workshop last weekend, aimed at people who wanted to be speakers, authors and coaches, so primarily attended by those in the 'mind, body & soul' arena. I had the most fascinating conversation with a man who calls himself a coach and trainer (not sure what his specialty is) about the "perceived conflict" between personal development and spiritual development.
He commented that people have an 'either/or' approach to development- you can either be successful or you can be spiritual. I was talking about how my first steps to 'self-awareness' came through psychology, then personal development, then spiritual journeying and how I have found value from all of these routes, depending on where I was in my life and that they all fed into each other.
I went on to say that the different routes suit different people as they have different needs and are looking for different goals and outcomes. I am not sure how the whole conversation went exactly, but I said to him something along the lines of:
"I not only love that everyone is different, I want it to be that way. Everyone has a different 'balance point'- where the balance lies for them in their life. I am an introvert- I don't want a heap of other people to have my balance point! I like having my own space in my particular version of what is right for me, so look at it that each person needs to find what works for them."
The coach/trainer looked at me like I had suddenly sprouted wings or something and actually said he had never thought of that before. That he had thought everyone needed to be guided to the same beliefs or system as him.
Now, I thought his belief was crazy, as it is so natural to me to think the way I do, but when I thought about it more, I guess the desire for others to not only agree with us, but to follow the same path is at the root of much of the conflict in the world.
Maybe we need to accept and actually encourage everyone to find their own happiness in their own space... Don't just walk your own path, support others in finding theirs.
He commented that people have an 'either/or' approach to development- you can either be successful or you can be spiritual. I was talking about how my first steps to 'self-awareness' came through psychology, then personal development, then spiritual journeying and how I have found value from all of these routes, depending on where I was in my life and that they all fed into each other.
I went on to say that the different routes suit different people as they have different needs and are looking for different goals and outcomes. I am not sure how the whole conversation went exactly, but I said to him something along the lines of:
"I not only love that everyone is different, I want it to be that way. Everyone has a different 'balance point'- where the balance lies for them in their life. I am an introvert- I don't want a heap of other people to have my balance point! I like having my own space in my particular version of what is right for me, so look at it that each person needs to find what works for them."
The coach/trainer looked at me like I had suddenly sprouted wings or something and actually said he had never thought of that before. That he had thought everyone needed to be guided to the same beliefs or system as him.
Now, I thought his belief was crazy, as it is so natural to me to think the way I do, but when I thought about it more, I guess the desire for others to not only agree with us, but to follow the same path is at the root of much of the conflict in the world.Maybe we need to accept and actually encourage everyone to find their own happiness in their own space... Don't just walk your own path, support others in finding theirs.
Well put Tui, people can be a bit scary sometimes hey?! (and it's funny how I had to do a quick scan-through of the conversations WE'D had that weekend :))
ReplyDeleteThe success-or-spiritual paradigm seems like such an old one which has long-since been debunked. And for a (Life?)Coach to be caught up in any kind of either-or thinking seems a bit ... well ... immature maybe?
It's strange how we can so easily be advocates of evolution and biodiversity - except when it comes to humans!! :)
:) exactly Martin! And not just accepting biodiversity, but encouraging it to flourish, so we each have space in the habitat that suits us best!!!
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