All Paths To Me

It used to really bother me when people would say they hoped I found what I was looking for or ask me if I was going to find myself in my travels- it probably still would bother me, but no-one has said it to me in a while! I never felt like I was lost, or missing any part of myself that I had to go out searching for, so it somehow felt like they were saying that I felt inadequate because I wanted to go on an adventure. 

 I realised talking to a friend yesterday though, how different my life has become because of my travels- how different I have become. The life I have now is nothing like where I thought I would be now if you had asked me 10 years ago. 

AND both are ok. I would have still been stronger, wiser, deeper if I had kept going on the path I was on then- it just would have been a totally different version of me! So I don't think I am 'finding' anything as such and was certainly not looking for this version of me as I didn't even know she could exist, but I am exploring myself and discovering one (or more) versions of the potentials I had. 

We all have every possibility inside of us, but by choosing some things over other, or not choosing some options, we only get the chance to fully develop bits and pieces of that. And that is completely fine- necessary in fact! Trying to be everything across your whole life would likely leave you with very little defined anything in the way of an actual sense of self!

Obviously, there are paths I have not taken or have been pushed off or have moved away from. We all do that across our lives. The paths we DO take are what mould us- where we shine a light into certain corners of our potential and discover what lies within. 

I could never, would never, have dreamed 10 years ago that I would be cycling home to my apartment in Nepal under a full moon (in winter!!!!), grinning like a (cold) maniac because I was so happy at simply being here. I could not have gone looking for this if I had tried because I had to get on the path to here to be here. 

So live your path fully. Immerse yourself into your potential, exploring the "who you are" that your choices lead you to. Our growth, our happiness, our life is in front of us no matter which path we are on.

♥

The Position of Love

Love is a commitment to a position, not a condition

(source unknown)

You know when you read something and it reaches up and grabs you by the throat, the heart, the mind, the soul. Maybe it’s just me, but it happens every so often- it might be a simple quote or a phrase, often on Facebook, sometimes even something I have seen before.

But, NOW, in this moment, those words speak.

The words above grabbed me today. I have been thinking a lot about judgment, about public shaming, about people not supporting each other. I have also been thinking about self-acceptance and how it all stems from how we truly feel about ourselves.

These words remind me- I choose.

But I can also turn this inward. Coming back to Nepal has reminded me how much I struggled with the Buddhist teachings when I spent a month in a monastery here 2 years ago. Yes, I actually found the tenants of Buddhism depressing. And oppressive. As I find pretty much all Religion.

The idea that our human self is flawed, broken, inferior is so sad. That we are somehow inadequate and should be striving for some 'other' perfection. That we are suffering, just by being here. (oh, and there are those 6 realms of hell to top it off!)

What if we committed to our humanness with love? What if the ‘monkey mind’ was not to be overcome or calmed, but is a very treasured component of our incarnation? What if our bodies are not to be transcended but to be truly lived in and loved? And yes, that includes food, and sex, and thinking, and lying in the sunshine, and chocolate, and, and, and…

Yes, I believe we are here to learn, to grow, to evolve. But perhaps, rather than attempting to reject or even outgrow our humanity  what if we embrace it. Love it. Kind of like “loving the one you are with”- is it possible the path to more is through fully accepting and enjoying Who You Are.  A commitment to your Loving your position of Self.